My En-“Lightened” Journey

Meet Eileen
Highest Weight Before Surgery 300lbs
Date of Surgery May 6, 2003
Weight Loss 125lbs

Having gastric bypass surgery has most definitely improved my life beyond all my expectations. I would have to list it as one of the top three life-altering events of my life.

Prior to surgery, at a maximum weight of 300lbs, I was on several medications and unable to participate in activities that included minimal physical exertion. The medications I took were to control high blood pressure, blood sugar, chronic joint pain, anxiety, reflux disease, sleep disturbances, depression and chronic migraines. At that time I was also incapable of doing many things I had once enjoyed, like softball, swimming, and even gardening was difficult for me.

Like many overweight people, I was exposed to society’s prejudice and discrimination toward the obese, and have many examples of such odious behavior. One day as my husband and I were leaving a local bar, a “not-so-gentle” man bid me a farewell by shouting out, “Bye fatty!”

Another time at an amusement park, I was required to try the “sample seat” they had positioned at the entrance of the ride. I did fit, but only after the attendant pressed down with all he had to clasp the safety lock. Not only were these events embarrassing, but also they contributed to my already existing feeling of worthlessness and self-hatred. These experiences released an outward hatred toward those people who made me feel less than human because I was obese. I wanted them all to gain an extra 300lbs for their snide remarks and hurtful stares.

Another example of my fears coming to fruition was when visiting my brother; I sat down at the table to chat with him and broke one of his dining room chairs. Then, not so long after that incident I broke his toilet seat, along with two toilet seats of my own. I can now laugh about the toilet seats, but at the time I was horrified and humiliated. As many overweight people can attest, I had an extremely difficult time fitting into seat belts, theater seats, or restaurant booths. Even wearing regular clothes made me uncomfortable, jeans would just cut into my skin and bras felt like some cruel from of torture. The only items of clothing that didn’t cause pain or discomfort were sweat pants and oversized shirts. Giving the impression to most strangers that I didn’t care about my appearance.

Many overweight people experience the same spiral of self-loathing and depression that I found myself in. If I felt bad, I ate, and if I ate, I felt worse. This lead to a state of such depression and anxiety that I did not leave the house for days, weeks and at times, months. I eventually found part-time work that I could do at home, and generally avoided public places.

I did not want to feel shame and humiliation that was only exacerbated by complete strangers staring, making cruel remarks or even worse, simply ignoring me.

After many, many attempts to lose weight using a variety of methods, and with no long-term results, I started looking into surgical methods for weight control. I researched various procedures by collecting information at a local medical library, searching the web, talking to my family doctor and speaking to about 100 people that had similar procedures done. I called Michigan Medical, P.C. and attended the orientation meeting, it was then I decided to have Gastric Bypass Surgery and three months later I had a surgery date set.

The day of surgery came, I was extremely excited and my husband was more nervous than I was. As they wheeled me into the operation room I stated, “I’m here to have a new lifestyle installed please.” The staff seemed to enjoy my levity. Next thing I know, I was waking up in recovery with the advice of former patients ringing in my ears to take deep breaths and walk as much as possible. I started my deep breathing immediately.

I was fortunate enough to qualify for the laparoscopic surgery, and within four hours of surgery I was up and walking in the hallways. The nurses were very pleased with my efforts and said they had never had a patient do so much walking. I didn’t sleep very well the first night, mostly because of the pneumatic devices that were put on my feet to keep continuous circulation and prevent clots. My post surgical pain was minimal and didn’t compare with the migraines I have had. The small amount of pain I did have could be compared to the soreness of doing 200 sit-ups after being sedentary for months. The next morning I did more walking, got dressed, and I was released within 24 hours of my surgery.

My recovery at home was somewhat uncomfortable. I had muscle soreness for a few weeks, mainly because I was only able to sleep on my back, which made me very stiff. The most discomfort came from painful gas and bloating. I was vigilant in my pursuit to walk it off, which I feel helped tremendously. The pain from the gas subsided by the end of the first week, and I was able to sleep on my side after about 12 days. I started my walks around the block the day after I got home. I then increased the length of my walks to five blocks and within the first month was walking a mile a day. I was astoundingly tired for the first two months. Being an “anti-nap activist” I hate to admit it, but I actually had to take many naps the first week I was at home.

For the first two months I felt very lonely and was surprisingly emotional. I believe this depression was due to the fact that my hormones were a bit “out-of-whack” for the first five months. With my hormones fluctuating as they did I had numerous, crushing migraines and an unpredictable menstrual cycle. Although I experienced migraine headaches regularly prior to surgery, the headaches after surgery occurred more frequently and were also more intense. On several occasions, in the first two months, I had to visit the emergency room to seek relief. Around the sixth month my body started to get back on a regular schedule again.

The actual weight loss after surgery was phenomenal. After only two months I lost 56lbs, at five months I had lost 98lbs, and at eight months I had lost 118lbs. My goal prior to surgery was to lose a total of 140lbs, which will most certainly be achieved before my one-year anniversary. Prior to having the weight loss surgery I was wearing a tight size 28 pants, and at eight months I was in a comfortable size 14 pants.

I no longer have to take medications for high blood pressure, blood sugar, reflux, or inflammation. I do still take medication for migraines and I take a pre-natal vitamin along with other supplements to avoid malnutrition and mal-absorption of certain vitamins and minerals.

There have been many improvements in my life since surgery, some that are amazing and others that are very simple. I can now wear “regular” clothes and not feel like I have been enclosed in an iron maiden. I can now tie my shoes and breathe at the same time. My complexion has improved immensely. I can clean my entire house without having to take several small breaks. It feels natural to cross my legs. I can sit down on unfamiliar furniture without the fear of breaking it. Sex is fun again, not embarrassing, and the bed seems so much bigger now. I can walk up the stairs without wincing in pain. I easily sit into seat belts and theater seats. The best of all is, I can appreciate the little things I can do and do not take them for granted.

My relationship with food has changed as well. I no longer treat food as a form of entertainment, comfort or celebration. The surgery has forced me to change my terrible life long eating habits, for which I am truly grateful. The foods that use to make me feel so good now make me feel miserable. I am no longer able to have foods that are high in fat or sugar and am now lactose intolerant. I also tend to avoid most types of meat, because they feel very heavy for a long time after eating. Occasionally I will have chicken, tuna, or jerky, but tend to enjoy fruits, vegetables, cheese, and yogurt the most. When I feel a craving for those old, familiar comfort foods, I have to remember the severe discomfort that they inevitably bring, and then I am no longer tempted. I now “eat to live,” rather that “live to eat.”

There are three major factors that I contribute my success to: The doctor’s and staff’s knowledge, skill and involvement in my journey, my ability to cope with a new lifestyle, devoid of terrible eating habits, and most importantly my husband’s family’s support. Any one of these factors alone was never enough to have a positive and long lasting result for me. But, together they have provided me with a new life that has allowed me to become a happier and healthier person. I am now looking for employment outside the home for the first time in six years.

I am no longer embarrassed or ashamed. I have more confidence in myself and I believe I can help make a difference in other people’s lives, weather that involves my professional skills or lessons from my own personal tragedies. I have already influenced several family members, who are now waiting to have the same procedure done, and others who are going through the pre-approval stages of their own journeys.

I am looking forward to re-entering the “real world” again with a renewed hope and confidence in myself. The only remarks and looks that I get from strangers are all positive and encouraging. I would highly recommend this life changing procedure to anyone that had found him or herself in a weight-induced deprivation of health, happiness and self worth.

My only regret is that I was not able to have the surgery a decade ago, as I have lost so much of my life to feeling of uncertainty, failure, shame, and embarrassment. All brought on by the inability to lose weight and keep it off, and with that inability, I lost any confidence I should have had in myself. But now that I have lost the weight, I have gained so much more that I ever imagined I could.

Most Gratefully “En-Lightened”
Eileen