Tammysmom
03-17-2004, 11:51 AM
I was not a chubby child, at first! I didn't start getting chubby until I was around 10. My family were pretty much normal weight when I was growing up. We ate normal food. I remember my Mom being in a co-op and we had lots of dried fruits and nuts and things to munch on, but I also remember that spaggettios were my favorite and sloppy joes! So, it was probably pretty balanced.
I stayed chubby till I got into jr. high then decided to slim down to fit in. I stayed around a size 10 through school which at my height of 5'6, was okay. Not too heavy not too thin. I also restricted my eating quite a bit to stay at that weight. It was a struggle.
I got married at 18 and had our beautiful daughter that year. I only gained about 30 pounds with my pregnancy, but I could NOT lose the weight no matter what happened. That was the beginning of a long hard road of weight gain, depression and numerous other health issues.
As more weight came on, I started to miss my periods. I went to the dr. who told me to lose weight. Okay, I tried. More weight, less periods, then the hair loss started. Back to the dr. I go. Same thing. Just lose weight. I started having thick coarse black hair grow on my chin, my arms started getting more hair and the weight just kept coming on. I finally went a full year with no period. My face had broken out so bad, my hair was thinning I felt bloated and miserable. I just wanted someone to help me.
This is all took place over a several year period. I had taken provera with no luck to bring on periods, and tried whatever the dr. said. I was frustrated to death. I finally went back to the dr one more time. He gave me a referral to an OBGYN. I went and the dr. took one look at my chart, looked at me and said...."you have PCOS" and that was my answer to what was wrong with me, but I didn't understand what that was and she didn't explain it past a hormone disturbance. She put me on a diuretic to help with the hair growth and sent me on my way. I started "dieting" harder since I knew I wasn't getting any better on my own. I was doing an aerobic tape and only allowing myself 9 grams of fat a day. I lost over 30 pounds that first month. I was within a few pounds of my prepregnancy weight. Then I got sick. I hadn't realized what I was doing to my body. The obsession with losing weight was harming me to the point of my dr threatening to put me in a hospital to feed me if I didn't eat. I don't know what happened, but something inside me snapped and I decided that if I couldn't lose weight then I wasn't going to try. It was all or nothing with me. Starving or binging.
So...over the next few years, I gained weight only more weight than I had gained the first time. I would watch it here and there, but it was always fighting a losing battle and I would give up. My self esteem was horrible. I was so depressed. I was on and off anti-depressents for years. My asthma and allergies were getting horrible. I was always having bronchitis and just felt miserable.
Finally, my dh and I decided we wanted more children. So knowing now that I had PCOS and my OBGYN at the time told me I wouldn't be able to concieve with it, I went looking for another doctor. Finally I found one that knew how to help me. She explained to me in depth what PCOS was. She tested my blood, I was insulin resistant, she put me on Metformin, got me using progesterone creams and just generally gave me some hope. I was on the met for almost 2 years, my cycles were regular, but I really hadn't lost much weight, I wasn't gaining though which was a first!
I decided to try dieting again. Knowing that I obsessed over calories and fat grams, I decided to only eat when my stomach growled and to eat WHATEVER I wanted at the time, enough to feel satisfied. I'd gone through the Weigh Down diet through church a few years earlier and learned to eat that way there. But never stuck to it.
I did this time. I started out right around 250 pounds in October of 2002. My goal was to be at 200 pounds by my 30th birthday in March of 2003. I just started eating like that and bought a walk away the pounds exercise tape and got started. On my 30th birthday I weighed 199 pounds. For Mother's day that year my husband and daughter got me a treadmill. So I started walking on that too. I was very active over the summer too. Working in the yard, and garden. I still ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied and if I wanted Ice cream or brownies or pizza I ate it! Just small portions. I never felt deprived and I felt so good, and had so much energy. I bought a few more WATP tapes and kept walking.
During the summer we pursued our dream of having more children. As the weight came off, my periods became very regular. I was ovulating for the first time in I don't know how long. My hair started to grow back in, and the acne cleared up and is GONE!
By the fall of 2003 I weighed 165 pounds, and felt great!
We found out then that my husband has severe male factor infertility. No hope for getting pregnant without IVF/ICSI. We can't afford that, and insurance won't pay any.
It has been a long painful road coming to grips with not having more children, but I've realized that us getting pregnant in highschool, which at the time was horrible, is now such a blessing! A few more years and my husband wouldn't have any children at all and neither would I. It seems like a sick joke that my body is now in perfect working order and now he has a problem. But I know it is all part of a greater plan. At least I am trying to get that to sink in. Most of the time it's okay, I'm realizing that we are still so young and when our daughter is grown and on her own, we will be a young couple who can do all kinds of things together.
She is 12 now and she still prays for a miracle, or that we can adopt. But in my heart I'm starting to be happy with our family the way it is.
My weight loss is still going. I have been walking still and my final weight loss goal was to be 135 by my 31st Birthday. Well, my birthday is next week and I weighed 141 this morning. I may not see 135, but I feel great confidence I will see the upper 130's, and that is AWESOME to me!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't tell you how my life has changed! I went from a size 22/24 to a size 6. I have no asthma problems, can't remember the last time I used my inhaler, no allergy problems, haven't used clariton in almost a year. I also had my first laser hair removal treatment on my chin/neck area last month and have already seen HUGE improvements there. My energy level is so high, I feel so good about myself after years of hating me. Sure, there are some things I don't like. I have a little loose skin here or there, and my poor boobs aren't what they used to be, but my husband says that I look incredible and for the first time in our 14 years together, I'm starting to believe him.
That's my story so far....:D
I stayed chubby till I got into jr. high then decided to slim down to fit in. I stayed around a size 10 through school which at my height of 5'6, was okay. Not too heavy not too thin. I also restricted my eating quite a bit to stay at that weight. It was a struggle.
I got married at 18 and had our beautiful daughter that year. I only gained about 30 pounds with my pregnancy, but I could NOT lose the weight no matter what happened. That was the beginning of a long hard road of weight gain, depression and numerous other health issues.
As more weight came on, I started to miss my periods. I went to the dr. who told me to lose weight. Okay, I tried. More weight, less periods, then the hair loss started. Back to the dr. I go. Same thing. Just lose weight. I started having thick coarse black hair grow on my chin, my arms started getting more hair and the weight just kept coming on. I finally went a full year with no period. My face had broken out so bad, my hair was thinning I felt bloated and miserable. I just wanted someone to help me.
This is all took place over a several year period. I had taken provera with no luck to bring on periods, and tried whatever the dr. said. I was frustrated to death. I finally went back to the dr one more time. He gave me a referral to an OBGYN. I went and the dr. took one look at my chart, looked at me and said...."you have PCOS" and that was my answer to what was wrong with me, but I didn't understand what that was and she didn't explain it past a hormone disturbance. She put me on a diuretic to help with the hair growth and sent me on my way. I started "dieting" harder since I knew I wasn't getting any better on my own. I was doing an aerobic tape and only allowing myself 9 grams of fat a day. I lost over 30 pounds that first month. I was within a few pounds of my prepregnancy weight. Then I got sick. I hadn't realized what I was doing to my body. The obsession with losing weight was harming me to the point of my dr threatening to put me in a hospital to feed me if I didn't eat. I don't know what happened, but something inside me snapped and I decided that if I couldn't lose weight then I wasn't going to try. It was all or nothing with me. Starving or binging.
So...over the next few years, I gained weight only more weight than I had gained the first time. I would watch it here and there, but it was always fighting a losing battle and I would give up. My self esteem was horrible. I was so depressed. I was on and off anti-depressents for years. My asthma and allergies were getting horrible. I was always having bronchitis and just felt miserable.
Finally, my dh and I decided we wanted more children. So knowing now that I had PCOS and my OBGYN at the time told me I wouldn't be able to concieve with it, I went looking for another doctor. Finally I found one that knew how to help me. She explained to me in depth what PCOS was. She tested my blood, I was insulin resistant, she put me on Metformin, got me using progesterone creams and just generally gave me some hope. I was on the met for almost 2 years, my cycles were regular, but I really hadn't lost much weight, I wasn't gaining though which was a first!
I decided to try dieting again. Knowing that I obsessed over calories and fat grams, I decided to only eat when my stomach growled and to eat WHATEVER I wanted at the time, enough to feel satisfied. I'd gone through the Weigh Down diet through church a few years earlier and learned to eat that way there. But never stuck to it.
I did this time. I started out right around 250 pounds in October of 2002. My goal was to be at 200 pounds by my 30th birthday in March of 2003. I just started eating like that and bought a walk away the pounds exercise tape and got started. On my 30th birthday I weighed 199 pounds. For Mother's day that year my husband and daughter got me a treadmill. So I started walking on that too. I was very active over the summer too. Working in the yard, and garden. I still ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was satisfied and if I wanted Ice cream or brownies or pizza I ate it! Just small portions. I never felt deprived and I felt so good, and had so much energy. I bought a few more WATP tapes and kept walking.
During the summer we pursued our dream of having more children. As the weight came off, my periods became very regular. I was ovulating for the first time in I don't know how long. My hair started to grow back in, and the acne cleared up and is GONE!
By the fall of 2003 I weighed 165 pounds, and felt great!
We found out then that my husband has severe male factor infertility. No hope for getting pregnant without IVF/ICSI. We can't afford that, and insurance won't pay any.
It has been a long painful road coming to grips with not having more children, but I've realized that us getting pregnant in highschool, which at the time was horrible, is now such a blessing! A few more years and my husband wouldn't have any children at all and neither would I. It seems like a sick joke that my body is now in perfect working order and now he has a problem. But I know it is all part of a greater plan. At least I am trying to get that to sink in. Most of the time it's okay, I'm realizing that we are still so young and when our daughter is grown and on her own, we will be a young couple who can do all kinds of things together.
She is 12 now and she still prays for a miracle, or that we can adopt. But in my heart I'm starting to be happy with our family the way it is.
My weight loss is still going. I have been walking still and my final weight loss goal was to be 135 by my 31st Birthday. Well, my birthday is next week and I weighed 141 this morning. I may not see 135, but I feel great confidence I will see the upper 130's, and that is AWESOME to me!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't tell you how my life has changed! I went from a size 22/24 to a size 6. I have no asthma problems, can't remember the last time I used my inhaler, no allergy problems, haven't used clariton in almost a year. I also had my first laser hair removal treatment on my chin/neck area last month and have already seen HUGE improvements there. My energy level is so high, I feel so good about myself after years of hating me. Sure, there are some things I don't like. I have a little loose skin here or there, and my poor boobs aren't what they used to be, but my husband says that I look incredible and for the first time in our 14 years together, I'm starting to believe him.
That's my story so far....:D